12:44AM - Posted using TxtLJ

Tonight @ 709 was sweet. MyIdeaOfFun, Josh Crusan, Rob Szabo and Starbucks. Mmm Mmm good. Wonder what tomorrow will hold. G'night.

11:57PM - machine

i feel like i'm just putting on a face.
doing things because i have to.
not doing things because i don't.
can't cut, can't feel, can't have the time.

work, school, homework, sleep.
day to day just killing time.
i put on a happy face. half-believing it.
but deep down, i still crave the blade.

i want to fall, i want to feel.
i want the high, no drugs provide.
i lust for the steel, if only to feel real.
but the new life around me won't allow it.

good God, i want something to take the edge off.
to hush the demons that scream in my head.
but this face i put on, isn't the person i used to me; the person i am.
this blue needs crimson, these stars need night.




does anyone else feel this way?

9:04PM - poem

yeah, i know i rarely post and have nothing about anything recent, but here's a poem i wrote in school today cause i've been thinking alot about the meaning of life and if what religion teaches us is true or not..
like the soul, body, and spirit are two different things.
the body is a house for both
each spirit is unique to a body but is intertwined with your soul
and when you die, your spirit gets sent to judgement, but your soul lives on
your soul occupies many many many lifetimes and each rebirth is just another life for your soul to live. each time with a new spirit and new body... it's hard to explain, but in my view, it's probable... here it is...


A Belief Of My Understanding The Understandings Of My Beliefs

Can my words convey what my thoughts long to say,
or is this just a fatal attempt?
Can my numerous rhymes summed up in hundreds of lines,
depict all of the dreams that i've dreampt?
If I said i believed every sight my thoughts see,
you would think that i'm crazy at best.
I have thoughts i perceive of what life means to be,
but i believe some more that the rest.
Are there spirits and souls? Are our bodies all molds,
for out soul to occupy in part?
What my existence withholds can be one million years old,
So when did my soul first embark?
There has to be more to our untimely dolor,
That we all must succumb to at death.
but since life is so short we are lead to ignore,
any chance of escaping last breaths.
Are we one in three lives, and each meets their demise,
and our triune existence repeats?
When we die, one will rise, and one six feet deep lies,
And the last goes against what saints teach.
Such as snakes eat the mice, we all run for our lives,
when danger or hazard occurs.
When the venom kicks in, on that one final bite,
Will its soul still decide to return?
There are messes of guesses, answers noone possesses,
and still, would it even make sense?
Though my life still progresses, if exempt from distresses,
yet i trouble my thoughts with past tense.
It's said these thoughts "killed the cat," but I can't leave it at that,
besides, we all die in the end.
If I imagine in facts, and just ignore where i'm at,
I'll know what i'll do when i'm "dead."



by: Josh Darr

12:48PM - long weekend, bad day

well friday i went to the mccort game and then capri; saturday i went to the westmont game and did nothing all day until like 10 when i went to the ferndale dance, you had to have someone sign you up beforehand, and i didnt, so i just pointed to a name on the list and got in...o well...and then sunday i did nothing all day until i went up to hang out with amanda, and halley and amanda got grounded, and i felt bad, and then today i came to school, i have spanish homework, i have to sstudy for a religion test that is thursday, i have math, i have an english test tomorrow....today hasnt been a good day so far because at lunch i was going to sit by megan and larkin and then and megan was on the end and hannahs going to sit on the seat beside her, well since i didnt wanna take the seat, my plan was to move hannah's stuff over and then pull up a chair, well megan thought i was moving hannahs stuff outta the way and taking her seat, so she got mad and left, and i felt bad so i went to go sit by myself, which in turn lead hussein, hassan, and some other kid sitting by me, they asked me if i was GOTH, and omos people kept telling me to cut mair hair and get it outta my eyes...im pretty sure i didnt ask them if it was in my eyes, so i dont know why they bother telling me, plus the fact that im never going to listen to a damn word they say anyway...and i never really have said anything to them about their hair, but i really just dont give a flying fuck...well im out...i didnt really get any comment or remarks about the last entry...o well....later...

-JoshuaAllen

12:29PM - 4 tests....

3 down. one to go.... well so far i had a math test, then right after i had lunch, then an english test, now a typing test, next i have a geography test on the whole map of Europe....but i think itll be quite easy...well i got done relatively early today so i guess im going to tyupe that poem in here that i wrote yesterday...i dont really like it, its not that great, i wrote it in like 10 minutes so it sucks...but ill type it anyway...oh and im going to the bishop mccort somerset game tonight, incase anyone reads this and wanted to know.......


"The Damsel In Distress"

She's fucked up; she knows it
She slits, you can tell; wrists show it
She knows not what to do, and picks up the razor
cuts 'til it bleeds; but it doesn't phase her
She cries out in pain; she asks herself why
but fairytale end says, "no need to cry"
knights ride on horseback, to come save her life
but Nights fade to red, she brings out the knife
The knights slay the dragon; it's too late to save her
she'll always just stagger on; thy fault is thy razor
she's lost in the void; she can't ever get out
there's always that boy; she can't forget about
The feeble attempts to save this fair maiden
hath brought forth detest; she stays in the pages
Forever entrapped; with Prince Charming's gaze
love captured, no use; she's caught in a haze
normally happy fairytales turn her world depressed
the distinct wretched details: The Damsel In Distress




comment back to let me know whether you like it or not (i could really care less) but let me know....

12:44PM - two tests down, two to go...

well lets see i woke up late today because i was up studying all last night...well kinda ish, i kinda got tired of it and realized that i dont even need to study, whats the point of it if i already know what its about...hmm lets see...i wore my hair today in a way that i liked it...im surprised that i didnt get in trouble..yet.....so far i took a spanish test and then made a poster in biology then did a page long 3 questions in religion then reiewed for a test in math and started a poem when we were done...then i had lunch, i sat by myself in the corner until shane came then a lot of people came and terch didnt have a seat so i gave him mine and left.. and then i had an english test on vocabulary words and now i just got finished with a drill in computers...im bored... i have 2 tests tomorrow.yay! ....math and a test on the entire map of europe: knowing what country is what, what their capitals are and the bodies of water surrounding europe...great....i havent even begun to study so that is kinda bad, but i guess ill have to actually do that tonight... i said earlier that i started to write a poem...its not finished yet, but if i get a chance later, if i finish it, i will post it when i have time...it's called "The Damsel In Distress" well im going to check out my space....ill get at this later if i remember....


-JoshuaAllen

Current mood: bored

Current music: from first to last

12:39PM - ahhhh tests tomorrow....

well theres not much to say, but i know that i have like a million tests tomorrow...
lets see: Spanish, Math, English, and there is a Geography test (FRIDAY)
hmmm so far i dont have any homework other than "study study study" thank God i didnt have math today because i dont like mrs grove...well i like her its just that she always tells me to smile and i hate smiling... im tired of typing already, i got done with my lesson today really early...so class isnt going to end for like 15 more mintes... grreeeeaaaat....
today was alright i guess...the schedual was once again messed up... but that didnt bother me.. because i didnt have math YAY! because ....yeah... and well lets see first was spanish, then bio, then chorus warm up, then we had some assembly thing called the "challenge program" and then it was the first math of the year and its kinda weird because since im in chorus we are at the front of the church, facing the church, and i am one of the people that are highest up on the bleacher duders... and then it was lunch, i was first in line because im sneeky like that and skipped going back to homeroom, (which miss rice will probably have my head for, but o well =D) and then there was english...we did like 3 excercises and then reviewed for the vocab test tomorrow...so that was good... and now im in here for computers and then i go to 8th period, then 3rd period, then 9th...(geography, bio again, chorus) so it doesnt bother me...well im going to go now even though i still have like nine minutes to do like anything, i dont feel like typing anything else, even though there isnt much that i can type...


HERE IS A POEM THAT SHANE ASKED ME TO READ...IT'S HIS FAVORITE...IT'S GOOD...



It is called "Dialogue Between Ghost and Priest"

In the rectory garden on his evening walk
Paced brisk Father Shawn. A cold day, a sodden one it was
In black November. After a sliding rain
Dew stood in chill sweat on each stalk,
Each thorn; spiring from wet earth, a blue haze
Hung caught in dark-webbed branches like a fabulous heron.

Hauled sudden from solitude,
Hair prickling on his head,
Father Shawn perceived a ghost
Shaping itself from that mist.

'How now,' Father Shawn crisply addressed the ghost
Wavering there, gauze-edged, smelling of woodsmoke,
'What manner of business are you on?
From your blue pallor, I'd say you inhabited the frozen waste
Of hell, and not the fiery part. Yet to judge by that dazzled look,
That noble mien, perhaps you've late quitted heaven?'

In voice furred with frost,
Ghost said to priest:
'Neither of those countries do I frequent:
Earth is my haunt.'

'Come, come,' Father Shawn gave an impatient shrug,
'I don't ask you to spin some ridiculous fable
Of gilded harps or gnawing fire: simply tell
After your life's end, what just epilogue
God ordained to follow up your days. Is it such trouble
To satisfy the questions of a curious old fool?'

'In life, love gnawed my skin
To this white bone;
What love did then, love does now:
Gnaws me through.'

'What love,' asked Father Shawn, 'but too great love
Of flawed earth-flesh could cause this sorry pass?
Some damned condition you are in:
Thinking never to have left the world, you grieve
As though alive, shriveling in torment thus
To atone as shade for sin that lured blind man.'

'The day of doom
Is not yest come.
Until that time
A crock of dust is my dear hom.'

'Fond phantom,' cried shocked Father Shawn,
'Can there be such stubbornness--
A soul grown feverish, clutching its dead body-tree
Like a last storm-crossed leaf? Best get you gone
To judgment in a higher court of grace.
Repent, depart, before God's trump-crack splits the sky.'

From that pale mist
Ghost swore to priest:
'There sits no higher court
Than man's red heart.'

Current mood: bored

Current music: BAMBELELA

12:46PM - chili for lunch

well last night i was up for awhile hangin out with my parents after being on the phone and then since i wasnt feeling well i went to sleep...then i got up showered and came to school, we have a messed up schedual today so its kinda weird...but we get to sign up for all of the different clubs... hmmm so far i know that i have to STUDY SPANISH, MATH HOMEWORK + STUDY FOR TEST, STUDY FOR EUROPE TEST, ENGLISH VOCAB STUDY ....i know all of those because that is what is on my arm :-)...well hopefully im going to be joining alot of clubs... who knows...but yeah i really dont feel well...so i guess im gonna just go now because i dont feel like staring at the computer screen....later...

-JoshuaAllen

Current mood: sick

Current music: From First To Last - Note To Self

12:41PM - computers...

well lets see...this weekend i came home on friday after my ortho appt and i got ready and shut my computer off (so i could take it with me =D) and got packed and left with my dad and manny to Nemacolin... i love that place...when we got there, manny and i went swimming and he made up this weird game with a volley ball or something... so yeah we played that, then when we got out we were walking back to the room when we passed this open door with this huge room, and inside of the room there was this huge theatre screen...so we walked in and sat down [we were the only ones in there but o well] and SPY KIDS 3d was on... too bad we didnt have any 3D glasses...o well it was awesome though, even though i have already seen that move before, it was good...and then we went back to the room and after awhile we got hungry, and decided to order room service ...(meanwhile i was downloading some music O:-) ) and we ordered 3 burgers 3 drinks and 2 pieces of cake...and i could not believe what the total was!!! 102.50 for three burgers a few drinks and cake...thats nuts...o well, it was okay..i didnt really care...and then we went to sleep.. and in the morning manny and i walked around and looked at all the art and then met up wit h my dad for lunch..it was alright, not the greatest.... and afterward we went swimming at the outside pool which was alright...i went in the hot tub mostly...and then we departed...when i got home james wanted me to come up so i went over to james's house then we hung out and went up to his girlfriends house and watched a movie...butterfly effect..and ordered pizza (most of which i payed for..) and then i walked to james's house with him and we hung out, and then he walked me home and then stayed there for a little bit then i got tired and sick but went on the phone for a little bit first and then sleppppppt...when i woke up james and amanda were there waiting for me, so i got a shower and went with them.....they wanted to go to scotts house...i didnt feel like walking up there with them but i didnt really have a choice... so we walked the whole way up to OLD WESTMONT and then ordered some pizza (yuummmm =P ) and we just hung out there like all day and then got a ride from his mom back down to amanda's house and we hung out there for like an hour and i got tired and knew i had homework and studying and stuff so i called for a ride and went home.. then i did my homework, studied for a little bit (my dad told me if i study, the tests will become easier so i decided to try it) sao then i ate...and then got online then talked on the phone for a liiiiitlle bit and waited up for a long time.. but i didnt mind :-) and then watched the cosby show with darr manny carlos and my mom and then went to bed...woke up did m thing, got ready, went to school...so far i had spanish, a biology test, religion, math (homework :-X), lunch, english (homework :-X) and now im in computers...well the bell is about to ring in like 2 minutes so i think i am going to end this entry...so long everyone :-)


-JoshuaAllen

Current mood: bored

12:46PM - ortho appt...:-/

well im sitting in computers and we just had to type this really long drill like 2 pages long and now my arms hurt because this chair is so low and its broke so i cant rasie it and if i told him it was broken he would think that it was me and i dont wanna have to replace it... so anyway yeah im about to go to world geography in 9 minutes i think and i dont have to go for very long because i am excused from class since i have an orthodontist appointment...yay... and i wanted to be in chorus today but i guess i cant since that would be last period...anyway yeah i might go to either the game tonight or the show at the grove...



that one^^

and if i dont go to either of those then i guess i cant really do anything... theres nothing else to do... and yeah im actually writing in here regularly now its like amazing...even though i have kept this in my profile for like ever but still im writing =D ...i guess i dont really have much else to write...lemme know if something comes up for tonight...



-JoshuaAllen


(PS. i wish he would just let us type regularly because i can type about 50 million times faster my way without using the home keys because like this whole journal entry took me 5 minutes exactly.. and that whole assignment took like 20 minutes or more and i didnt type half as much...)

Current mood: writing finally...

Current music: jimmy eat world - the middle

12:48PM - bored...

well im in computer class right now and we just got done trying to do this typing thing where it teaches us how to type and its really messing me up because he gives us this little construction paper thing to sheild the keyboard so we cannot see the letters and one i am so used to a laptop keyboard and my hands are so big that it always gets knocked over or something when im typing...i dont like it... o well ill deal...well im writing in here so i guess all u people that are reading this are happy because i finally keep updating my journal, yay...meh im bored though and i only have 5 minutes left in this class so i think im going to stop writing now because im bored and yeah... so ill get at u later...Josh
.............

-JoshuaAllen

(didnt really concentrate or read over entry so it might be in incomplete or non-understandable sentences but o well....c ya)

Current mood: bored

Current music: From First To Last - Note To Self

12:35PM - im writing..

well, people always tell me to write in here...so i guess i am doing that...right now its like 12:35 and im in computer class...yippee...i got done with like some kinda worksheet or something, so im allowed to do whatever and i figured hey why not write in this thing since everyone always tells me that i never update it...well i probably will most days that im done in computers early..otherwise i probably wont, i always forget or am too busy or something and tongith i have so much homework...i gotta read the rest of and then there were none because we have a test on it tomorrow well i might not read it but still i gotta do that and i have like a whole lotta homework...lets see spanish i gotta write the hail mary and glory be in spanish then seperate it into syllables then underline each stressed syllables then there is religion that i have to do i gotta read a whole lot then do 7 questions...thats not fun, and then i have to practice piano and voice all day because my lesson is tomorrow and i havent practiced for like 2 weeks or more... :-[ ...o well ill be okay...well im kinda getting bored of this i just felt like writing in this to take up some of my time i still have like until 12:56 and now its only 12:40 hooray 16 more minutes of nothing.. my favorite... o well im getting more bored so ill write in this thing when i have some time... see ya later...

-JoshuaAllen

Current mood: bored

Current music: as i lay dying-94 hours

1:55AM - 643 question survey

well i just got done trying to put in a 643 question survey and its too big for livejournal or myspace to hold so if you are really interested in looking at it, just tell me and i will send it to you.. just leave your email address and ill email it to you.. or im me and ask for it..ill have to email it to you either way tho..AIM: eightwm ...so yeah id like to show anyone who want to see it

Current mood: windber rec tomorrow

Current music: blood brothers - love rhymes with hideous car wreck

11:30PM - career day

well today i woke up and about 5:40 because some danged truck was outside my window and it was making so much noise...so i decided to go and get an early shower since i usually dont get them until about 7:05 or so..but then i got a shower and did my thing got dressed...then i did nothing from 620ish until about 708ish so yeah that was good :-) and well now i would usually be taking a shower by this time in the morning but since i woke up early and already did that i find that unneccesary...anyway then i got ready and brushed my teeth and went to the bust got on the bus went to school ate breakfast said prayers went on the bus to career day me and shane go the back and we picked up andrwes i listened to music and read a book the whole time until there so that passed the time and then we got there and listened to a speech and then we went straight for the mortician...mr. george..he was awesome he told us a whole lot about working in a mortuary and stuff and the enbauming process and he is awesome he had like 6 books to look through and we saw all his cosmetics he needed to do his job and he makes a pretty fair share of money and he said he wouldnt trade it for the world..then we checked out mr ed..the artist..he was so influencial its unbelieveable...and what shane pointed out to me was-and i agree- mr ed brought nothing not even a thing and he blew us away...like everyone there had food or candy or flyers or books or some kind of special display and mr ed had nothing but a blank clear table and he like got so into it about talking about becoming an artist it was great..he definately achieved his goal if that was to get our attention...and well then...we looked around at everyone elses displays and stuff and there was this wirey guy at the C.E.R.T. table and pretty funny stuff and me and shane got our hair done...me and kantner forced him to do it and they gave him cornrow-ish things and i got hine braided like two braides and then kantner got his and then everyone in the whole building basically that could get their hands on a hair band went right to the cosmetologists and bit off me shane and kantners idea..then we got outta there and looked at other peoples and this one caterer had awesome fruit and "fondu" and this restaurant owner gave out hot wings but since shane got his braces taken off yesterday and his teeth hurt he wouldnt let me have any and then it wa stime to leave and we got on the bus and went back to school and read some charlotte doyle i did read it i read my Cirque Du Freak book and then it was lunch time and then recess which was fun kinda until FAGNO (mr ragno) made us go back inside because of the rain and then me and shane did something to skipp most of history and then went back for the rest of and and then had gym and got dressed for it and went outside and after like 4 touchdowns had been scored it started raining too hard and we had to go back in and we played some quiet ball and that was fun i won the first one shane won the other one and then we played a dice game for vocabulary and then school was out i talked to shano some more and decided that im going over his house tomorrow and thatll be cool and now im really tired i just got done typing up my descriptive paragraph and i still have science and math to do and i think i better get started on that soon and well while im typing this my eyes just keep sagging i gotta finish this before i fall asleep and well im off to bedwell tata for now...o yeah below im going to paste my descriptive paragraph into here so that way everyone can read ita nd tell me if u like it..i dont think u will be able to imagine it that was..it is describing a painting taht we had to paint and stuff i like me its pretty cool well since i dont have it to show u in here im just going to paste what i wrote about it in here... here goes...





Self-Subjective Off-White Outlook on the Opaque Virtues of Making Decisions

In the deep tim continuum, in the clear shadows of space, where bent light from the sun tangled up in the refracted curves of an overlooked blackhole, there lies a vision of non-reality with all-seeing visions and outstretched limbs bringing forth foul thoughts that even the most bewildered imagination could not possibly begin to fathom. In this devious examination of free-spirited thought, the dim outlook of life starts anew and inside all the absurd creations within this continuum, the birth of an undying science unfurls. The junction of the fine-tipped pencil and the unclutched palm pulsating through each other while the ecdysis of the skin broken open lingers loosely running bleekly -- the flowing blood -- finagles the view of the observer to be reminded of greusome terror, whereas (from the distant retreat of reality) it is no more than a mere illusion by misobservation.
The envisioned darkness flowing from the outer core of this twilighted world damns the viewer's perceptive notions of realism to try and cauture an emitted viewpoint likely to be thought of as "unreal." So said this characteristic of grim twilight and knowing the unjust percentage of peacefully-calmed thoughts, we now begin our faint voyage through the continuums latter of indistinct matter. The never-ending cycle of dream-like states and objects unlike what is seen to the observer's normality, linger through this vaccuum as sand through a vast desert.
The roll of opticle sight (eyes) gazes longingly into the mind of the widely-expandable imagination of all people's thoughts. Protruded by tangibility, these eyes float desolately over and under in a free-spirited way back and forth. To the viewer's already bedazzled mind; tangled up confusion by the mere illusion of thought, the eyes may seem as though they are floating upward. Maybe to some, a falling fury of eyes may put that to the contrary, as they may seen to be free-falling downward. To others, a background is created where eyes are nothing but staged afloat like solitary bricks locked in place, never moving.
The mess of bloody repress seems to pollute a wretched, oozing horror. This gore, just described, forms the out-stretched arm-and-palm with the pencil.
The viewer wonders, "Do they go on forever?" Well as I have said with this continuum, the true meaning is unfathomable, as is the radius and area, to be able to distinguish a possible answer to the viewer's question(s). These arms, stretching from half-forearm to fingertips, only show that portion of the arm. We wonder, "Is there more to it?" Is there more of the arm? Is there an elbow? A shoulder? A person?
Could anyone set a correct answer to these probabilities, I, the artist, would not replay my envisioned thought of which I had imagined I would imprint on the blank canvas. More questions may still race through your mind. Your brain my try and grasp many questions, but being able to conjour positive answers, is most unlikely. Is there more we can't see? These crude thoughts remain unanswered. Unfini--...






tell me if u liked it :-)
-JoshuaAllen

Current mood: accomplished

1:43AM - got to see MCR: gerard, ray, mikey, frank, and bob...& greenday: billie joe armstrong, mike dirnt..

and TRE COOL..(to finish off the title)

well to say the least..that concert kicked some major as--butt :-) i got a shower and got ready and stuff and got my stuff together and we were off and we got started out and since we have a portable dvd player, i brought that along and watched some of the used maybe memories dvd on the way up there and listened to some MCR and stuff and then we stopped at sheetz and i got some skittles, mike and ikes, and two drinks...turns out that later darr took my skittles and ate them so later on our way home i bought more :-) and then we were on the road again and off to the ART INSTITUTE of PITTSBURGH and we got there and went and it was okay kinda and yeah i guess well then after that we left to go to this "comicon" thing that my dad's friend is part of and then we got some stuff to eat and then we went to this buge-ish barnes and noble and i got 2 books..they are part of a series called "cirque du freak" its some good stuff i read alot of the second one on the way home (i was going to get the first and second one but they didnt have the first one so i just got the second one) turns out that in the first one all that happened was him and his friend went to a freak show and he took a spider and it bit his friend and he knew it was trouble so he tried to go back to someone at the freak show and tell them to save his friend and then person he came to was a vampire and he had to become a half vampire if he wanted the vampire to save his friend and so now in the second and third its about become a vampire and everything and its awesome its like a 9 book series..and its sorta like my kind of book and i like it so far i got like 50 or so pages within like less than an hour i think...well anyway yeah then we left there and entered the monroeville mall and i went to hot topic and bought an MCR shirt because i know they would be extremely more cheap there than at the concert so i bought it and then we left and were on our way there..well anyway ill skip to when we were in line..i called leah<3 and talked to her for roughly five minutes maybe and then doors opened and me and darr got in a found our seats...we were extremely close and stuff it was pretty cool but the angle was horrendous but u got over it..i mean it felt like it would be a bad angle but it was great and then we walked around and waited for it to start..asked some guys from on the floor if they could get us some backstage passes and they didnt but thats okay then i bought some pins and some stickers and i bought darr a beanie that u will probably never see him without just because thats the kinda guy he is... and then after some dilema it started and MCR was freaking mind-blowing ..gerard like talked more than sang but they were incredible and it was just great and everything and then they had to set up for green day and when they came out the concert just kept getting better and better and better and i thought it would be stupid because i was thinking they would just play their overly-played new album amercan idiot but they played like 5 old songs..probably a little less than the equivelant than the ones from the new album but they also played songs like "we are the champions" and that one song by i think it's Jackie Wilson sang it where it goes "throw my hands up and SHOUT" and then he goes "a little bit softer now a little bit softer now" and gradually works it up to a "a little bit louder now hey-aay-ayy-ayy" and it was awesome and the pirotechnics were insane..since me and darr were so close, everytime the fire shot up from the stage we felt like we were in an oven and o yeah..at intermission right before greenday came on, they played the YMCA and a guy dressed up in a pink easter bunny costume came up on stage and pretended to drink bottles of bear and danced to the YMCA and it was pretty funny...and well then when it was over it was snowing and my dad was just leaving to get us and then he lost his way and we ended up staying for like 45 minutes extra outside in the freezing snow...and well then he came and now we're home and im ready to go to sleep :-) and well what can i say this was an awesome day....
i love you sweetie

-JoshuaAllen

Current mood: awesomeness

Current music: greenday - time of your life

11:45PM - none

since i dont feel like typing my day im just going to post a poem in here called "the process of suicide" that i made .. i made it because shane made a poem kinda like it and i wanted to make one.. so here it is :-)

The Process of Suicide

The twisted smile; the blood-red pain
the thrill of the kill; the heart's disdain
the crying torment is razor sharp
the dying horror with pulsating heart
The tears had passed; from first to last
began in a vast, almost joyful ghast
Now the torment killing
the boy unwilling
to keep this life; this unending life
of wrist-sluen cuts and bloody strife
So rope-in-hand; revolver-at-stand
tied taught; his hand...against the trigger
barrel-at-temple. On the stool he staggers
Loop Around The Neck...One Last Breath.
Kicks it out from under
in moments, his sight--a' blunder
almost dead, can taste the end
thrust in head, the bullet of lead
                       It's the end

Current mood: can't wait til tomorrow :-)

Current music: underoath - some will seek forgiveness, others escape

6:00PM - i made a picture of my room in paint

its smaller than how i made it but just im me and if u want ill send it to u

8:44PM - survey